thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i out mim tonsoeep
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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