You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
