i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
