Pants 0. Shit 1.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize