My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
