honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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