Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
