do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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