You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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