Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
