Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
