He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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