so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
