..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
