my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
