You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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