is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
