Can Purell be used as lube?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
