I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
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Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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