Do vagina's smell?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
