i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
