you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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