How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
