is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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