I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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