The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I need to calm my uterus...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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