ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
