did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
