I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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