My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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