Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
