Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
