Whod you bang
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
