I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have aggressive nipples.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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