I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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