Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize