Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
