final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
