But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
ttyl tear gas
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
