I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
