her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Did I show you my penis last night?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
