YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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