Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
