Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
