I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
