dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
