Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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