It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
