Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
