My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
