walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
