Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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