I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
