is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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