If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
