So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
