You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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