i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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