Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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