she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
her facebook's as public as her vagina
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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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