sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
