Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
