Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
