'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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