well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
